Navigating Breakups, Building a Solid Relationship, and Being Your Own Happiness
Are you looking for your soul-mate, your other-halves, the one partner that will bring to your life everything you are lacking and longing for? This idea is sold to us as an idealized romantic endeavor that will eventually lead to fulfilling lives and completing our souls. But when a breakup occurs, no one tells us that giving our heart to someone implies that it’s always up to us to put the pieces together. To be able to go through such processes we need to cultivate self-love. In this episode of Bio-hacking Bestie, guest Adam Roa shares why this old narrative needs to change and how in actuality, healthy relationships take place when each partner has enough self-love to show up for themselves and to be present partners.
Adam also dives into his journey of break-up, learning to be his own source of happiness, and navigating the shifts that occurred after his relationship was over. Plus, the two of us talk about the fundamental aspects needed to grow a healthy relationship: understanding our own and our partner’s love language, setting defined conditions, and even knowing when to leave a relationship. Adam Roa is an internationally known speaker, self-help coach, spoken word poet, and musician. He is the founder of The CREATE Community: an online community of a collective Renaissance of education, art, transformation, and entertainment. Adam is also the host of the Deep Dive Podcast, a place of authentic looks into the minds of the tough leaders and game-changers of today.
What we discuss:
[01:30] “What they don’t tell you about giving your heart to someone is that it will be still up to you to put it back together”
[02:51] Adam’s 10-year relationship break-up and the aftermath
[03:41] Adam’s take on self-love: what relationship you have with yourself
[05:05] What changes occurred in Adam that made him a better partner
[09:32] Should we forgive someone who cheated on us?
[12:02] Conditions in relationships
[14:18] Adam’s deal breakers in relationships
[15:44] Adam breaks down The Five Love Languages
[20:40] How Aggie views acts of service
[21:07] How to know a relationship has ended
[24:08] Why a healthy relationship doesn’t equal its longevity
[26:32] How we can mend our hearts after a breakup
[30:11] Re-learning how to be on our own after a relationship
[31:38] What a healthy relationship looks like
[34:36] Why do we fear being alone?
[38:01] What helped Adam stay open to new people after a breakup
[41:58] Adam’s poem ‘I am enough’